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31st-Aug-2006 02:45 pm - ...It's Not Just a Name...
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What is your true element? (Great Anime Pictures) (Very Detailed Results)

FireThe burning power of passion. Love, Hate, you only feel the most extreme of emotions. You are only satisfied if you do. You work until you achieve a goal and once it's achieved, you search for another goal. For you, life is a series of challenges and at the end is the prize. You fight for your beliefs. You love completely. You must stand above.
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What is your true element? (Great Anime Pictures) (Very Detailed Results)

IceHidden nature, a shell of fear. You are a lonely person, just like darkness. However, you are simply afraid of failure. You are not content with your loneliness, you wish for more. You are a kind hearted person, but you don't let people see it. Every now and then you slip and end up showing your other side, but when people question, you return to your solid form. Please, come out of your corner. The world holds much love for you too.
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18th-Aug-2006 06:04 pm - A Beacon in the Dark
Shimmering Butterfly
From the Darkness comes a light burning brighter than the sun.
A single beam directed towards my heart,
to warm and shelter it from the night.
Knock down the walls and melt the ice.
Make me feel again.
21st-Jul-2006 08:19 am - One Word: UGH!
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#1. Being female sucks.
#2. Getting a cold during the summer sucks worse.
#3. Having a failing relationship sucks worse than the previous suckage.

Can I just sum things up by saying, LIFE FUCKING SUCKS.
14th-Jul-2006 01:09 pm - To Any Sherrilyn Kenyon Fan...
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Join the "Dark Hunter of the Month Club" and get pictures of your favorite MAD, BAD, AND IMMORTAL studs that you just wish would bite you.

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6th-Jul-2006 09:33 pm - Combat Cards?
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...Link from Buuns's Journal...

watch blackmagickmage fight
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Pink Elephant
In my last update, I mentioned how happy I am with Bryan. I am happy, the most I've ever been with a guy. But, at the same time, I am so goddamned confused I couldn't find my way out of a paper bag. I'll explain...

I know what Bryan and I are doing is forbidden, and I know he has to be torn between what is right and what makes him happy (why they can't be one in the same thing, I'll never understand). His transmission fell out of his car, and he can't afford a new one. I don't drive, nor do I have a car, so basically, we can't go anywhere. He doesn't call me all that often, and I'm not allowed to call him, at least at home, and I never know when it's okay to call his cell, or when he'll even have reception on it. Plus, with us not being able to go out, we're not getting to be affectionate, which hurts me deeply. I like affection, and I like feeling important to someone, and not being able to do that really gets to me.

Anyway, he's been extremely quiet at work, or at least with me, which yet again is worrying me. He mentioned that he's had a really bad month, even mentioned that I'm back luck since every time he comes to see me, his car would break down. According to him, everything good has been taken away from him, when I mentioned he still had me, he said I was the only good thing left, and he wouldn't know what would happen to him if he lost that. That made me feel pretty special. He says things to his friends at work about me, apparently good things, but...it still feels like he's withdrawing from me, and I can't figure out why, or what to do. And this past evening, a guy from work says, "you guys aren't really together, since you don't hang out outside of work". Which wouldn't be the case if his car was working, I hope... I also am truly hoping that it was just that guy being a dick, and not something Bryan had actually said...

I just hope he calls me...I love hearing his voice, and I crave it. He owns my heart, even though I'm too scared to tell him that, in fear of rejection. I can barely look at him without smiling with my cute little smirk, when he holds me on those rare occasions, it makes my heart race. In the oft chance that we walk by each other and brush the other's hand, it can cheer me for hours. What is going on with me...? Is it just that it's infatuation, or...am I really in love for the first time...? I ache when I don't get to see him, am constantly worrying about if he's going to just up and leave and not mention anything to me, but does to everyone else.

*sigh* God, why does absolutely nothing make sense anymore. I would do anything for him to just be open with me again, talking like we did during our dates. But I guess, since he tells me things he doesn't want anyone else to know, he wouldn't tell me at work. I just want him to be the way he was before...
19th-Jun-2006 07:27 am - Living Out of Boxes
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Wow, can't believe it's been so long since I last posted. Anyway, here's the latest on my favorite topic: ME! Kidding, Kidding...

Today marks the one month date since Bryan's and my first date. We have a somewhat unique relationship. He's sexually innocent, and for the first time in my life, I don't want to deviate him in any way, shape, or form. Yet. Not until the time is right. After all, he is male, and he has told me he thinks "bad things about me". Ahh, the joys of being one big ball of testosterone. I care very much for him, and it feels weird to want to protect him from things. Especially when one of those things is me. I know how I am, and what I want, but I have to shield him from that. Is that a bad thing...?

We're still in the process of moving to my Grandma's house. We started prepping for the move back in January, but after having to wait for a man to fix our ceilings, painting our walls, and only being down at her house once a week, it's going to take until June 30th (the date my mother told PMI we'd be out) for this place to be empty. Both my mother and I are supremely shocked at just how much stuff we had that we're getting rid of. Things that were just thrown aside for 20-something years. Mom actually found the gowns that my dad wore when she gave birth to Mary and I. Kinda disturbing to look at, but fascinating nonetheless. We found SO much stuff that we've put out for the garbage, our trash guy must think we had about 3 feet of actual living space in our home, and we've only really taken care of 2 1/2 rooms. We're just starting on the living room, I haven't even opened my closet yet (it's blocked by my dresser, which is doubling as an entertainment stand (and my TV and game systems are the LAST thing to go!). I'm almost scared to see what's in there seeing as my closet hasn't been opened in...oh, three or so years. THREE YEARS?! I know people who can't go three minutes without being in their closet. And OH MY GOD! I didn't realize just how much clothing I have. I've already taken down 2 hampers full of clothing to the new place, and I have 1 more hamper and 2 laundry baskets. Not to mention what's in my dresser. *sigh* I don't want to get rid of any of it either. Looks like I'll have to separate my winter clothing from my summer and put the winter in my Grandma's attic...

Oh, and may I just say, I'm taking a class over the summer, "Intro to Allied Health", and it just seems to be the most boring thing in my life. I can't concentrate on it, probably with all the stuff going on right now, but the worst part is, it's a 4-credit class, so I can't screw off. But I can't help but not pay attention...Do I have some late onslaught of A.D.D. or something?

Yesterday marks the first Father's Day without my Dad in my life. I guess I took it pretty well, and with Mary, it was definitely hard to tell. Her and her husband are apparently fighting, which definitely wouldn't have helped her getting through the day. Or maybe it did, I don't know, Mary's a tough cookie to figure out sometimes.

I guess I forgot to mention that this past week, both my Mother and I took vacation from work. Yes, we still work at the same place, same days, same hours, same team. Most of the week we spent relaxing and packing. But Friday was our Ocean City day. Every time I'm there, I feel right at home in the sun and surf. Not that I had the opportunity to swim, we took a bus down and were leaving again later that night, and we ALL know how it is when you get sand in...inopportune places and don't have the ability to go wash it out.

Alright, time to end this thing with a quiz...

What's your inner power? (Girls only sorry. Beautiful anime pictures, lengthy results)

Sensitivity- Your inner power is Sensitivity! You are true to your heart, and probably a hopeless romantic. Everyone loves you for your gentle ways and kind words, and you are brilliant with animals and young children. Youre very sweet and caring, and you have friends who love you, who are always there to support you and hold you when your fragile heart is broken. You are most likely often found daydreaming about your life and your future, and you have a talent for dealing with kids, all of which adore you, even if youve only been around them for five minutes. Youre the one your friends turn to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and a kind word to get them smiling again. You are shy, lovable, compassionate, and seek to make the world a better place. You will go far in life for sure. You go girl! Boy/Girl who will sweep you off your feet: The romantic, sweet guy/girl that every girl dreams of at some stage in their life. You just love the way he/she treats you as you are the most precious, important girl in the world, and the way you know hell/shell never cheat on you. Your stone/jewel: Calcite Your power: Love. You can make the most revengeful person mellow, and have a talent for being a brilliant match maker. Your element: Earth A quote that applies to you: "When you step to the ledge of all the light you have left, and you take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you might believe one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you step upon, or you will learn how to fly."
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8th-May-2006 01:55 am - The Mundane Life
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Well, I finished my Anatomy and Physiology class with an A. Looks like the hard work and frustration paid off. It'll be so nice to have 2 weeks without school before my summer class starts. I think I'll just play my Xbox 360 and level my RuneScape character while I have the free time. Maybe go to some movies or something...or work on packing more of my stuff. We shall see.
24th-Apr-2006 12:00 pm - One Hell of an Ending to a Weekend!
Shimmering Butterfly
This week I began my new work schedule by working only Monday night and Thursday-Saturday night. Needless to say, I was completely exhausted by the end of Saturday night, so I really needed something to pick me up. Well, Sunday was certainly my day.

The day started off with only getting a 3 hour nap. Okay, not too happy about that but, sacrifices must be made. After waking up and getting showered and dressed in a half hour (which is difficult for a girl, right ladies?), we went to pick up my sister and head to the Senators game. We're finally getting to go to a lot of games and I'm just enjoying the shit out of that! :-) Unbeknownst to us, the game from the night before had been canceled due to rain, so we had the opportunity to sit through a double header. Great games all around, and it was a giveaway day, so I can't say anything bad about sitting in one place for...5 hours.

After the game, it was time for bowling. We had off for Easter last weekend so it had been a little while since I had even picked up my bowling ball. Which for me, usually means "I'm out of practice so I'm going to suck.". Apparently, this was not the case for me. I did so exceedingly well it blows my mind. First game: 215, second game:196, third game: 248, equalling a 659 series. My first 600, and I blew through that by 59 more pins. I'm still in shock. But I've got the paperwork to show it wasn't all a dream.

Anyway, that was the ending to my weekend, and man, did it make working worth it!
13th-Apr-2006 04:48 pm - Back On My Feet
Shimmering Butterfly
Alright, so Aaron and I didn't work out. What can you do about it? Just keep moving forward and remembering what you have to offer. Which, is exactly what I've done. I cried for a little while, then realized everything is for the best. He had no room to hold me back from my dream, nor did I the power over him. A life lesson learned, and a lifetime ahead to learn more. I'm ready for someone else, so bring it on, guys!

P.S. Eryka, if you read this, e-mail me! I miss you!!
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